Living with Contentment
Philippians 4:10-14 – “I have learned to be content”
4th Sermon in Series on Life Issues
Jim Whittaker
Contentment, quite simply, means satisfaction, being at ease and at peace with one’s situation of life. We maybe tricked by the powers of the world or the devil himself to be content wrongly or to be tricked in thinking we are content with something other than what God gives.
Desires placed in the wrong place:
Contentment – does it come from wealth?
Misplaced desire #1
Since we have been in a recession for 3 years now with no end in sight, we might start lusting after the good old days - The Me generation of the 80’s or the accumulation generation of the 90’s. Does wealth solve all problems? No, but it is a good beginning. Let’s face it. We need money to pay bills and bills are harder to pay than they were a few years back. But is wealth the source of contentment?
John D. Rockefeller, one of the richest men of his day, and who had a net worth of $100 million, was once asked, “How much wealth does it take to be happy?” He answered, “Another million dollars.” That seems a little much.
I can identify with John Rockefeller. I told my children to make as much money as they could because the person that makes little money will work just as hard or harder sometimes than the person that makes more money. The Bible doesn’t actually say you can’t be rich, but there are some warnings.
Warning 1 – If “Wealth is a god,” we will not find contentment.
Jesus said in Matthew 6:24, “No One can serve two masters, for a slave will either hate the one and love the other, or be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and wealth.” In Matthew 19:23 Jesus says, “It is hard for the rich person to enter the kingdom of Heaven.” The message here is wealth and prosperity may lead you away from God. When does wealth become a god? When we cannot do something for God because it affects our wealth. When the rich young ruler was asked to give his possessions away by Jesus, Matthew 19:22 says “he went away grieving. Wealth can become a god.
Warning 2 – If we practice “Unjust gain,” we will lose the contentment of knowing God.
Another warning from the Bible, is for us first not get wealth in a deceitful or oppressive way. Jeremiah in chapter 6 and 8 says, “everyone is greedy for unjust gain.” Proverbs 28:16 says, “one who hates “unjust gain will have a long life.” Simply put, this can be as simple as overcharging someone for a service, but it can also be more sinister than that. I share with you this story:
Associated Press: 10/31/2011 – “Ephren Taylor riveted audiences at mostly black churches with a list of his impressive accomplishments and an uncanny business sense. He had the blessing of top clergy as he gave financial seminars from the pulpit on Sundays, promising rock-solid investments — only many of the churchgoers said they haven't seen a dime.” Now he can’t be found and has several lawsuits against him. The title of the article was: “Former CEO Accused of Targeting Churches.”
Mr. Taylor played on the natural tendency of humans to want more and promised them substantial returns when he actually was allegedly playing a Ponzi scheme meaning he was getting rich unjustly.
When it comes to wealth, let us recall the saying by John Wesley:
“Earn all you can, save all you can, and give all you can.” It is the giving of all we can that releases us from the power and influence of money becoming a false god in our life.
Misplaced Desire #2
We may think contentment comes from achievement.
When we achieve it does give us a positive self-worth. If we earn one more degree, get one more promotion, then we’ll be content we think. If we are salesman of the month, or the best dad supporting the baseball team, that is contentment we think.
In Job 21, Job reflects upon the wicked that they say “God leave us alone,(14)” and in 16, “is not their prosperity their achievement?” Job is saying there is something more.
Or we may think contentment can be found in acquisitions – from getting things on our “wish list.” A new house, a new car, a new boat, a vacation home – that will make us feel content. Musings by Don Yeager
We might remember the farmer who built more storage barns but forgot to consider the fate of his own soul. He died wealthy, but he died without God and had to face the possibility of hell.
What is the common theme here? The common theme is that we by our actions will find contentment. The Bible says we will not find true contentment in things. Phil 2:3 says, “do nothing out of selfish ambition.” Contentment is beyond ourselves.
What is contentment then?
Desires placed in the right place.
Desire #1 – A Desire to know God and find his peace.
I believe one of the promises we get from God is peace. At the root of what contentment means is to be at peace with yourself, to be at peace with the world, and to be at peace with God.
Isaiah 52:7 says, “how beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of the messenger who announces peace, who brings good news, who announces salvation.” We believe that is fulfilled in Jesus and continues to be fulfilled by his followers.
Psalm 23:1-3
Listen to this. The Lord or God is my leader, by guide, who I live my life for. He is all I need. I shall not have any other wants. This verse along tells us that it is not by wealth, achievement, and accumulations that we will find peace. It is through God and he will restore us.
Say this over and over until it sinks in. I shall not want. I shall not want. I shall not want. We all could live on less than we do.
Phil 4:7 says, “And the peace of God which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
John 14:27 says, “Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you. I do not give as the world gives.
Contentment I believe begins when we give our life completely over to God and trust him fully to lead us in our life. While we should seek to know the peace of God, there are other desires we can cultivate to help us to be content.
Desire #2 - Cultivate and attitude of Gratitude – Phil 4:13 – learned to be content. We talked about last week of writing down 3 things each day that you were thankful for. Have you?
Desire #3 – Generosity - Give to those in need – Psalm 41:3 – James 1:27 - care for widows and orphans. Do we use John Wesley’s saying to give all we can seriously.
Desire #4 - Praise God every hour and every day – Lamentations 3:25-31 – After the author talks about how bad things are and God has let some bad things happen to him, he begin next to praise God.
Desire #5 - Seek peace with those around you – Psalm 34:11-15. Also blessed are the peacemakers.
Desire #6 – Meditate upon God. Be still and let God speak to you – Psalm 23
Desire #7 – Trust God – Matthew 6:34 – do not worry.
I end with this recipe for contentment by John Wesley:
“Do all the good you can,
By all the means you can,
In all the ways you can,
In all the places you can,
At all the times you can,
To all the people you can,
As long as ever you can.”
If we can do this, we are demonstrating the love of God and neighbor for we have been commanded to love the Lord God will of our heart, mind, soul, and strength. This is the secret of contentment.
Amen.
Give a Hand. Someone Needs You.
Mark 2:1-5
October 31, 2011
Series based on Adam Hamilton’s “Game of Life” series. This is sermon #3 in the series.
In our scripture today, we see several things worth noting.
1. Bad things do happen. There is a man that is paralyzed. We are not told if he was born this way, or whether he was injured in an accident. It is a reminder to us that disease and accidents happen. It may or may not have been his fault. Christ meets him at his need.
2. As humans, as Christians, as brothers and sisters, we can help each other make it along in their journey when we come aside them in their hardship and give them a helping hand. As Christians, I believe we are compelled to help make the burden easier on the one that is suffering. Some further observations on the help he received:
a. This man could not go to Jesus on his own. Transportation was a problem.
b. His friends and we will call them “stretcher barriers” helped this man overcome his problem.
c. Jesus exceeds what the man was looking for. God can do what we cannot do. We are called to trust in God for our deliverance.
So again what are our observations:
Sufferings, hardships, trials, and pains happen. It is a part of life.
With God’s help we will overcome. Often God’s help comes through other people.
These are things we know isn’t it? We know about the golden rule. We know we should say “I am sorry” and “I forgive you.” We know the world can be cruel at times.
The game of Life
Take for example the board game of Life. It was first created in 1860 and was called the “Checkered Game of Life.” The version we are familiar with was created by Milton Bradley in 1960. This game board has been updated in the 80’s, 1995, and 2005. This was one of my favorites growing up. You have to pay for college tuition, taxes come due, children come, sickness comes, and we get sued. I mean it’s hard to get ahead and this is just a board game. Some of the newer versions give you rewards for recycling, but you really don’t know what is going to come your way. Its real like in that we don’t know what might be in our future.
I look at my grandchildren and know the world is before them. Many opportunities, many blessings, and many gifts, but we also know there is going to be some hurts.
My own experiences
I was 19 when 3 of my childhood friends died two by accident and one by disease. My children were only around 10 when one of their fellow students at the day care center accidently got shot with a gun by his brother and he died.
It is not are we going to have pain and suffering, but when.
We are going to look at 4 strategies for encountering hardships and overcoming.
Take the game of life. You get sued real often. Taxes due. Get the flu. This is the game of life. We will face hardships. We will lose friends. A friend will die, but when we count the blessings that God gives us. We have friends and the beauty of creation.
4 strategies (given from the congregation at COR and given by Adam Hamilton).
1. Knowing there is pain out there and God doesn’t will my life to be filled with pain. This is Our Reality.
We often will say God must have willed for me to have this pain, this hardship, this tribulation, or this disease. We focus on somehow God wants me in this place. I want us to go back to our scripture passage. Nowhere are we told that God was the problem. What we are told is Jesus brought deliverance. Often, when we read about suffering in the Bible it is talking about being persecuted for our faith. When someone is suffering due to a physical element, we are told to have compassion. Jesus did.
The Why
We need to remember that in the Garden of Eden, God gave humanity a choice. God knew we were going to fail. It wasn’t a matter were we going to fail, but when. God chose to not create us where everything is already preplanned and we have no choice. We have to be careful in saying just because it happens it is God’s will. For example, it would appear that in the ACC football season that right now God is a Clemson fan. I might even say he is not too fond of Duke. Now if you are a Clemson fan, that is great. It is God’s will for you to win, but how does that make me feel – a Duke fan. God doesn’t like Duke; therefore, God doesn’t like me.
You got a cold. It must have been God’s will. You might want to think twice about taking medicine since that would counter God’s will. See you can’t just say that. Just because bad stuff happens doesn’t mean that it is God’s will.
See here is the thing. When God allowed us to have a choice we can choose the bad as well as the good. This imperfect relationship with God even effected our relationship with the earth. We have an imperfect relationship with the earth. Earthquakes happen. Floods happen. Though this earth is a blessing, it also can kill us. We do find times in the Bible where God steps in and does things out of the norm – miracles even. Mostly, these are to get us pointing back toward God.
It doesn’t help us to focus on how things are bad. God is wanting to deliver us from this world filled with pain and suffering. He has promised that when we are called to come home with the Lord that we are going to a place where there is no more suffering, no more pain, and no more crying anymore.
We need to remember this: God doesn’t want you to be miserable. God wants to deliver you.
Read Psalm 71:1-5a
2. God’s Will is for us to Turn to Him. This is God’s Reality. God wants a Relationship With You.
I don’t want us to rush the story in Mark. We need to realize that before this man was brought to Jesus that 4 men had to come together and decide to help this person. It was the 4 men who carried the paralyzed man to Jesus, and when this man was laid at Jesus’ feet, Jesus tells him his sins are forgiven. Jesus is much more concerned about spiritual deliverance from sin than physical deliverance from those ailments.
Something very important in this story is we have to realize that these 4 men believed in God made manifest in Jesus. They probably didn’t fully understand it. All they knew was that this Jesus healed people, and healing is good and good is from God. This man was God. God is where you go to get deliverance. They had obstacles. They couldn’t get near Jesus. They had to go to the roof and to take the sun baked mud off the roof rafters and they had to dig a hole in the roof. This was no easy job. How long did this take? This was no one minute job. Jesus must have heard them for some time, and then a little light and then dried mud falling to the floor. The lowered him down to see Jesus.
This is what God’s will is. When we have difficult times and hardships, we are to turn to Jesus.
Now here is the thing. It is not always easy for us to turn to Jesus when things are not going well. This is where you need some hand. Remember the 4 men and the stretcher. Each one of them gave a hand or a lift to this paralyzed man. Each one committed an afternoon to carrying and staying with this man. What the real miracle is 4 people became stretcher barriers for a paralyzed man. That is people who have experienced God’s deliverance, and want to help others to experience God’s deliverance.
How do we make it through rough times? A friend sure helps. Ecc. 4:12b says, “a threefold cord is not quickly broken.” Yourself, a friend, and God – that is the three – that is a commitment that is hard to break.
Who are we a friend too during hard times? There is a saying “to have a friend, it to be a friend.” Yes, God’s will is for us to turn to him. Sometimes that is hard to do without a friend.
3. Healthy focus or outlook on adversity – your mindset in adversity.
Adam Hamilton shared that when he questioned people going through difficult times, how were they making it? How could they do it? What was the secret to their success. This was shared.
a. Focus on Joy - Look on what brings you joy and pursue those things. Now if your spouse is dying, obviously you can’t deny that or pretend that it is not happening. What they are saying is we need a diversion from the stress, and the hardship of the situation. We need to remember the things that brings us joy. We might even be scared, but there was a determination that their problem, their issue, or their hardship was going to define them or make them be a “victim to the storm.” My life and what God has in store for my life, is more than the difficulty I am facing.
i. Adam Hamilton reminds us that we can only be that close friend to a few people, but when that opportunity comes, we need to be there for them. My job as a minister puts me in someone’s adversity usually when they are sick or they are dying. It is amazing the relationship that can be built up even in that short time. I have seen people scared to death of dying and others seem to have a calm assurance about them. I think the difference is in their mindset. The scriptures say we will have 70 years perhaps in life and if we are health, maybe 80. We are going to die. The key is to be ready. The key is for family, friends, and neighbors to be there to walk the journey with them. It is said you can’t escape taxes and death. Focus on what is good in life. Bobbie Rives tells me every time I visit her that she has been blessed in life. Anytime, we walk along someone in this life in hardship and trials, we are giving them a hand. We are being a stretcher barrier for that person.
ii. When I see Lee in Elois’ he tells me everyday is a gift from God. Just take a look at his beautiful world. This week in my Esermon I sent out, I said based on research the world is actually getting safer. Sure don’t feel that way. Perhaps it is because our news is biased to tragedy. It has been said for the news, “if it bleeds, it leads.” We have plenty to be thankful for, right here and right now.
b. Get the right outlook. A study was done to see on the mental wellness of the people. They took a piece of paper and asked them to right down 3 things that they were thankful for. After one week, there was no difference between the placebo and control group. After one month, there was less depression. After 6 months, a considerable difference was reported in the health of the group.
c. Trials are opportunities to grow
i. In our story today, the paralyzed man met Jesus. He was healed. He was forgiven. He had at least 4 good friends that watched over him. I believe in this story, this man became more than he was before. We can grow as a human, and as a Christian through trials.
d. Trials are opportunities to make a difference.
i. We often don’t want to see things this way, but often hurts can brings us to a place where we can help others. In our Companions for Christ study this week, we looked at a quote from Henri Nouwen in his book titled “wounded healer.” He was stating in our brokenness, we can help someone else become whole.
Adam Hamilton talks about the Catholic idea of redemptive suffering. That means something bad can become something good. God doesn’t waste a thing that happens in our life. We can pray God use the pain I have experienced to use this experience for your glory. Paul writes from Phillippians – the epistle of joy. Reads section God is using this to save some while I am in prison. I would like to face my death so that people are emboldened to preach Jesus.
Marie Covert’s roommate in Siler City Rehab will tell me I need to see so and so and pray with them. She is doing some chaplaincy work right there in the nursing home. Opal and Dorothy Wicker check in on Dorothy Bell. They are doing work right there in the nursing home.
I visited Jackie Green at Duke some time back now. He was witnessing for Jesus and asking the staff were they ready to meet God. He was working right there in the hospital.
When I visit Pic Dowdy, he always wants me to have a gift. He gives me Bibles to give out, and food for the food pantry. Just because you have had a hardship, does not mean that God don’t love you and desire to work though you. In fact, it is an opportunity to make a difference.
4. A deep faith that anchors us and gives us hope. II Cor. 4 – we are afflicted in every way, but we are not crushed. …..we do not lose hope. We look at what cannot be seen – it is eternal.
One of our friends from Cary, died of cancer when she was only 30. She left her husband, and she left her little girl. She could have been bitter. Why me? I was simply amazed at her faith. She was on TV praising God for all God had done for her. She was worried if others were ready to meet God. When you know where you are going, it changes things.
I believe our paralyzed man had a deep faith as well as his 4 friends. I wonder how they used their hardship for God’s glory.
Reviews the 4 things. Pain is a reality. God will be with us in our pain. Others will walk along with you being a “Stretcher Bearer.” Faith will give us hope even in the darkest days that we worship a God who loves us with an everlasting love.
Prayer, God I trust you with my life. Take the suffering that I face and use it for good. Use it to make me the person you want me to be. Use me O God. Help me to be someone else’s stretcher barrier. Amen.
Lessons learned from Scriptures – “6 Simple Words”
(This sermon series is based on Adam Hamilton’s 2008 “The Game of Life” Sermon Series with 7 Essential Truths. This is the 2nd part of that series).
Matthew 5:23-24; Matthew 18:15-17; Colossians 3:13
October 23, 2011
Jim Whittaker as revised Adam Hamilton’s original sermon on “6 Simple Words.”
We are continuing in a series that takes us to simple truths in the Bible and asks are we doing these. Last week, it was the “Golden Rule.” This week it is “6 Simple Words.” These are two sets of three words each. We should say these on a regular basis. Often, we can’t find the strength to say them, but we need to learn to find that strength through God so that we can say them. We are using research base on the Rev. Adam Hamilton from the Church of the Resurrection in Leland, Kansas. He challenges us to guess what these words are. He gives us this hint:
A recent research study found that couples who were successful in their relationships said these words twice as often than couples that marriages failed. Does that help? Here is the second hint: University of Michigan health care system instructed their doctors to say these words to their patients. What happened was truly dramatic. Letters from attorneys writing on behalf of their client informing the doctor and the hospital that they were suing for malpractice dropped from 261 to 130 from 2002 to 2005. The legal fees for these malpractice lawsuits as a cost to the hospital dropped from 3 million dollars to 1 million dollars in that same time period.
So what were the words. I Am Sorry. When I hears this I thought well this is good, but how does this related to scriptures. I don’t remember the scriptures saying “thou must say I am sorry.” I mean I want good advice, but I want Biblical good advice. We are turning once again to the Sermon on the Mount and to Matthew chapter 5:23.
23So when you are offering your gift at the altar, if you remember that your brother or sister has something against you, 24leave your gift there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother or sister, and then come and offer your gift.
The Bible stresses the importance of reconciliation. The great reconciliation passage in the bible is found in Matthew 18 beginning with verse 15.
15“If another member of the church sins against you, go and point out the fault when the two of you are alone. If the member listens to you, you have regained that one. 16But if you are not listened to, take one or two others along with you, so that every word may be confirmed by the evidence of two or three witnesses. 17If the member refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if the offender refuses to listen even to the church, let such a one be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.
In II Corinthians 5:18 says, “All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ, and has given us the ministry of reconciliation.” Just ask yourselves this question: when is the church at its worst? When it’s members cannot get along. How can we show Christ’s love to the world, if we ourselves cannot get along. When is the church at it’s best? When we are united in Christ’s work to the world.
Paul Meyer from Success Motivation, Inc. – One of the key success attributes is the willingness to admit you are wrong. This attribute defines success. We are going to do a little word play on the word Sorry. Sincerely offer reconciliation (so that you can be) reconciled yourself. How does this line up with scripture?
Matthew tells us that it is so important that if during our time of worship (giving of our plant or animal sacrifice and offering of gifts) we realize that have offended someone, we should leave the worship service or as soon as possible, and make it right. In effect Jesus is saying, we have to live a life of reconciliation if we expect God to give us Jesus’ work of reconciliation with his death on the cross and his bearing our iniquities. Remember the Lord’s prayer, Lord forgive me just like I am forgiving other people. I don’t want us to miss the point here. The scriptures are calling us to be willing “to make the first move.” Often, we want the other party to come to us, on our terms, and at our time. The scriptures are telling us it is vitally important to “engage ourselves in conversation” about an offense. We do not wait for them to come to us.
Here is how this works: Adam Hamilton shares that during the week we get busy with stuff. We are busy people that we might overlook some offense that we have done during the week, but when we settle our life down to worship so that God’s Holy Spirit can talk to us, we are reminded of the work of reconciliation.
We have to realize that un-reconciled things in our life are stressors. They are heavy. They are extra and unneeded baggage. Imagine if you will that we all have backpacks on. When someone offends us or if we offend others, an extra rock, brick, or weight is added to our backpack. During the week, our interaction with many different people can give us an extra heavy burden to carry.
We need to get rid of that burden. Psalm 103:12-12, “so far as the east is from the west, so far he removes our transgressions from us.” That is what God is willing to do for us. That is what we have to be willing to do. We have to let it go, and get rid of it.
Right now, a TV show that is very popular is “Dancing with the Stars.” Chaz Bono and Nancy Grace have been recent contestants. The key to dancing is you work together, you accentuate each other. You are more than you could be if you danced alone. It is grace in action.
Now let’s take that backpack again and say the contestants on the “Dancing with the Stars” show has to dance with it. It would represent our life together with someone when we have baggage to deal with. When there are hurts that have not been addressed. The dancing would certainly been more awkward and it may fall apart. To get the dance going, those rocks in the backpack need to come off.
When Dianna and I have unresolved concerns, frustrations, and misunderstandings, it affects our relationship. If we don’t take the time to be reconciled, it can fall apart. Remember the two key concepts from last week? They were “pay attention” and give “consideration.” Adam Hamilton talked about preaching on forgiveness and he was getting ready to preach the first sermon on a Saturday night but the sermon wasn’t finished. He was stressing out. His wife came to him and reminded him that their taxes were due. It wasn’t that a reminder on the taxes was a bad thing but it sent him over the edge. He left the house mad to go to the church to talk about forgiveness. Our instruction from Jesus is make your self available for reconciliation. This story ends well. His wife texted him and said she shouldn’t have put that on his lap when she knew he was already stressed out. She simply said I am sorry I did that. Adam came home and told his wife. I am sorry I got mad. I was frustrated but that is not how I should have reacted. I apologize for my actions.
Remember the Fonz on Happy Days – he couldn’t apologize. He couldn’t say it. Why? I don’t know. Was it poor self-esteem? Why can’t we say it? Are we still mad? Do we not want to be reconciled?
Adam Hamilton shares five ways to apologize given by Gary Chapman.
1. Heart felt regret.
2. Accepting responsibility.
3. Making restitution.
4. Genuine repentance.
5. Requesting forgiveness.
Maybe we just need to say I am sorry that this hurt you. Perhaps, we didn’t have a choice ourselves. We are told by God’s word make it right. Make the move to reconciliation. It is the right thing to do.
Saying I am sorry works. It will enhance our life. Remove stress and burdens. It will improve our relationships and were doing what God told us to do.
In a Minnesota Health care center a doctor made a mistake during surgery and she almost died. The doctor felt really bad about it. He came and apologized to her admitting he made a mistake and he was truly sorry. He felt bad about what she had to go through. A little later, the lawyers called this lady wanting to represent her in a malpractice suit against the doctor and the hospital. She declined the lawsuit. Why? She accepted his apology. (As told by Adam Hamilton)
An Employee completely forgot about work and didn’t show up. The boss said this behavior was inappropriate. This better not happen again. But in time, it did. The boss decided to give one more chance and they would be fired if they slipped again. In time, it happened again, but the employee said I am truly sorry. I didn’t mean for this to happen. What happens? The boss will give one more chance because they apologized. (As told by Adam Hamilton)
So far, we have only covered ½ of the reconciliation problem. The 2nd part is when we are the offended party and someone comes to us to say “I am sorry.” What is our response? There are 3 other words, we need to learn to say more. We go to the scriptures in Colossians 3:13.
13Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.
What are 3 other words? – I forgive you.
When we apologize, we release burden. When we forgive, we release a burden.
We regular do things to one another that hurt each other. There are little things that others do that irritate me. There are big things that people do to irritate me. In fact, you might just be the person that irritates me, but it goes both ways right? Just a week’s worth of irritation’s are enough to weigh you down.
We need to remember that just because we are reconciled does not mean that everything goes back to where it was. Sometimes, when we ask for forgiveness we can’t erase the consequences.
· If you are unfaithful with your spouse, they may forgive you, but you lose trust.
· If we do not keep confidences that were requested, we can ask for forgiveness but there are still consequences of a lost trust.
What are we going to do with the things we learned today?
Are we going to keep adding into our sack? Are we going to say they never asked us to forgive them so we just keep building a bigger pack. Building a bigger burden and offense pack is an option.
Or we could also just let it go. Matthew 18:15 tells us to go and talk with them alone. Not only should we “let it go” but we should offer reconciliation so that the other party can “let it go.” Adam Hamilton reminds us that this is not a time to be accusative. That will bring up the defenses. Express your concern about the offense but say it in a way that you know they did not mean for the hurt to happen. Open the door to conversations.
What if a person we apologize too doesn’t offer forgiveness? Our active part then is to pray. We also need to remember these 4 r’s of forgiving as given by Adam Hamilton.
4 r’s of forgiving.
1. Remember our own sins. Have I ever done this to anybody else? Have I betrayed the confidence of someone else? I can forgive easier
2. Reframe the other person. You are not excusing. You are asking what in their upbringing, or in their life situation right now would cause them to do this thing. Try to understand. It will make it easier.
3. Recognize the high cost of holding onto resentment. Mayo clinic – high cost to holding into bitterness. If you let go: lower blood pressure, stress reduction. Lower heart rate, fewer anxiety symptoms, fewer pain episodes, less addictions. We need to recognize that not forgiving someone and holding a grudge is killing me.
4. Redemptive blessings in our suffering. God can take the bad in our life and make something good out of them. Gen. 50. Joseph told his brothers that when they sold him into slavery.
We have all been molded by the episodes and relationships that we have had and have now. Some are good. Some are bad. God uses these life situations to grow us closer to God and to one another. He has given us these words to use. 6 Simple Words. I am sorry. I forgive you. Empty out your burden bags today. Amen.
Pray: Help us to forgive and to say I am sorry. Amen.
The Gold Standard in the Desert
"In everything do to others as you have them do to you; for this is the law and the prophets" (Matthew 7:12 NRSV)
By Jim Whittaker
We all are looking for the gold on the other side of the rainbow. We are looking for the golden nugget in our life that would really make a difference. We dream of things like going back in time and changing how things turn out. We think of that knowing the lottery numbers and going back to the day before. Knowing a decision you made completely changed your life and having the opportunity to go and make a different choice. We have TV shows and movies that have given us as much. Right now a new TV show, persons of interest is where they are trying to change a moment in that person’s life. Jesus gave us that golden nugget yet it is so simple, we might just overlook it.
God designed us so that we would do these things. When we do not do what God has designed us to do, it doesn’t look good. It is like we are taking a hammer and using the wrong end. There is a scripture verse to memorize. Read it twice a day for every day of the week.
Say the memory verse – stand. (Read golden rule).
"In everything do to others as you would have them do to you; for this is the law and the prophets" (Matthew 7:12 NRSV)
Putting the Golden Rule in Context.
What precedes this passage? Starting at the beginning of chapter 7, we have “do not judge others,” which is best known for where Jesus says “first take the log out of your own eye” (7:5). Jesus clearly says we judge others to a stricter degree than we judge ourselves. That needs to stop. This has been a theme throughout the Sermon on the Mount where Jesus calls us to a higher standard.
Going back to chapter 5, take the commandment “thou shall not murder.” Jesus said if your anger causes you to see someone as a fool or in other words if we cannot see the human worth of another individual, we are in danger of the fire of hell.
In regard to the commandment, “thou shall not commit adultery,” Jesus says if you are allowing your lusts to inflame you then you are one step closer to hell.
We often try to achieve the minimum passing score in life. Jesus says you need to raise your standard to God’s standard. We are familiar with the two laws that summarize the law – that is to love the Lord your God with all of your heart, mind, soul, and strength, and love your neighbor as yourself. Adam Hamilton states the Golden Rule is the 3rd law that summarizes the scripture.
Matthew 7:12, “In everything do to others as you would have them do to you; for this is the law and the prophets.”
I. Understanding the Golden Rule
This golden rule is not unique to Christianity. The golden rule actually predates Christianity. Everyone has a version of the golden rule. Although, we do need to realize this one is different.
HINDU: This is the sum of duty; do not unto others which if done to
you would cause thee pain. – Do not cause pain to one another.
CONFUCIAN: Do not unto others what you would not have them do unto
you.
What is the difference – do versus do not?
Actually quite a bit. Consider this – it is raining and you see someone who has broken down on the side of the road. They have their hood up and are standing in the rain. If Confucian is our guide, then we do not want to run into their car in the rain so we will get in the other lane. That’s all that is required. Just don’t hurt them. Jesus said do something. You are called to stop. It is not adequate to do nothing. See the difference.
Consider this:
Your neighbor, friend, or family member is not living for God. Jesus has already warned us in the Sermon on the Mount that not truly living out who God has called us to be may lead us to Hell. In chapter 7:21, Jesus says, everyone that calls upon the name Jesus will enter the kingdom of heaven. We are legitimately concerned about their salvation. Adam Hamilton says, “it is not adequate to do nothing.”
According to Confucian – just don’t harm them.
According to Jesus – You have got to do something. If you were dying and going to hell, would you not want someone to warn you. In fact, if you love God and if you love neighbor, you have got to do something. You take care of those you love.
Early Methodist, John Wesley taught 3 rules. These rules were meant to help us to live out loving God, loving neighbor, and the “Golden Rule.” These are called the General Rules.
Rule #1 - Refrain from doing harm.
Rule #2 - Do good.
Rule #3 - Practice the spiritual disciplines or as Reuben Job says “love God.” The first two are both Confuscious and Jesus. Put off and stop doing and start doing this. These apply to loving our neighbor. The last rule is obviously about loving God.
We see the apostle Paul taking both the Confucian saying and then raising it to the higher standard of Jesus in his writings. In Ephesians 4:25, it says:
Put away lying (in other words don’t do it) and then speak truthfully (do this).
Put away stealing (don’t do) and then do this: work hard and honestly so that you have extra to give to the needy.
Put away degrading language (don’t do it), and do this: build each other up in your talking.
Paul in Philippians 2:3 says this:
Put away selfish ambition (don’t do), and do this be humble and consider others better than yourself.
I hope that this is clear – we are to do more than not harming someone. We are to consider their feelings and hot it affects them before we act. This is what Jesus is saying. Jesus lived what he said. It wasn’t good enough for Jesus to live a good life. Jesus looked upon our plight or as Romans 5:8, “God demonstrated his love toward us that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” Christ died for us on the cross. He had to do something. Isaiah 53:12 says, “he bore the sin of many and made intercession for the transgressors.” I Peter 2:24 says, “he himself bore our sins in his body on the cross so that free from sins we might live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed.” God could not just stand by and do nothing. God expects us to be imitators of Christ. So how do we live this out:
II. Living it out
First, in your family and close relationships.
It is not enough to refrain from physically and mentally abusing your family and close relationships. Jesus is clear we have to pay attention to the concerns of others. So that is our first help.
Pay attention.
Relationships
I have learned a few things after 35 years of marriage. Dianna does not like dirty dishes stacked in with the clean dishes in the dishwasher, but she also does not like dishes stacked on the counter because I am afraid the dishes in the dishwasher are clean. What am I to do? I can’t put the dishes in the dishwasher and I can’t leave them out. The answer – pay attention. I will say this is a work in progress.
Often, we do not consider the needs of others at all. Adam Hamilton shared where on a whim he decided to eat pork when he was having dinner with a group of Rabbi’s at the local restaurant. Jews don’t eat pork so why did he do that? He said not paying attention.
A few years ago, we did a study written by Adam Hamilton titled, “Making Love Last a Lifetime.” He asked those who had been married for at least 50 years to share their secret. It was pretty much unanimous – consider the needs of the other person ahead of your own.
Adam Hamilton says we ought to do to the other in our relationships what would bless them. Dianna is not looking for a chainsaw, a battery drill, or a lawnmower for her birthday. I might want those, but I need to ask what is it that she wants so this is help #2 – Give Consideration.
Consideration
In talking about relationships, Gary Chapman wrote a book titled the “Five Love Languages.” What is revealing about this book is that different people love in different ways. What is the way you like to be loved: 1) Words of affirmation, 2) Quality Time, 3) Thoughtful gifts, 4) Acts of Service, or 5) Physical Touch? This thing is we need to consider that others might appreciate to be loved differently than ourselves. We need to apply the “Golden Rule” in all places that we live.
Business
Let’s consider business. Most businesses realize that without good customer service, they will not survive. What does that mean? Treat others like you want to be treated. That doesn’t mean if someone is trying to scam you that go ahead. No, it means we apply good business practices like honesty, authenticity, humbleness (the customer is right). It means if someone treats us badly, we do not have the right to return favor. Two bads do not equal a good. It also means that an employee does not try to pay the least amount possible nor take from the business the most for themselves. Justice comes to play as well.
John Wesley said of the golden rule, “it is the royal law. That golden rule of mercy as well as justice.” We have a tendency to play to the lowest common denominator. Jesus said raise your standards and live like godly people or as Ephesians 2:10 says live out the works you were created for. How about politics?
Politics
What if politics took the golden rule on. Each candidate would not belittle their challenger. They would not stress truth to the point of a lie. We seem to have hit a new low in mudslinging that doesn’t look like it is going to get any better. What about at the nation level?
Nation
What if we asked the question, when we do things for our own self-interest as a nation does it hurt the people of another nation. Does it hurt their economy? Does it contribute to the abuse of human rights?
We have to admit we are often not paying attention nor do we consider the feelings of other people. I have often wondered about how could the church allow the Jews to be carted off in trains to live in prison camps and to be executed during WWII. Adam Hamilton shares how Bulgaria did keep the Jews safe. There was an order to gather the Jews in Bulgaria and put them on the train. People did not want to do it but it was an order by the government. An Eastern Orthodox priest went up to the train with people lined up and getting in and said they will not take you. We will not let it happen. I will lie on the railroad track and they will have to run over me with the train. The people willed that their neighbors be treated as they should be treated and the Christian community stood up. 49,000 Jews were saved from deportation and probably death. It is said the government would not go against the will of the people and Bulgaria was not controlled by Germany.
To treat others as you want to be treated, certainly can result in a sacrifice.
III. We have been Warned.
We have one finally lesson to learn though and we will need to look at what follows the “Golden Rule” in the Sermon on the Mount. What follows is a warning against self-deception. We often look at ourselves according to our human standard rather than God’s holy standard. Not only does the book of Romans say “all have sinned” (3:10), but the wages of sin is death. We have to answer have we accepted Jesus Christ’s sacrificial life. According to the book of Matthew, we fill ourselves with deception.
Warning #1 – The way of Christ is Narrow
Matthew 7:14, “For the gate is narrow and the road is hard that leads to life, and there are few who find it.”
Warning #2 – Bad fruit leads to Hell
Matthew 7:19, “Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the first.”
Warning #3 – Not all will make it to Heaven
Matthew 7:21, “Not everyone who says to me Lord, Lord, will enter the kingdom of heaven.”
Warning #4 – Hearers but not doers
Matthew 7:26, “Everyone who hears these words of mine and does not act on them will be like a foolish man who hilt his house on the sane. The rain fell, the floods came, and the winds blew….and it fell – and great was its fall.”
All of these follow the Golden Rule – it would seem to me that Jesus realized many would not take the “Golden Rule” seriously and it is crucial to our living a godly life. I would say that without God’s Holy Spirit we don’t have a chance to really carry out the Golden Rule as Jesus intended it.
Ephesians 1:13-14 say the Holy Spirit has been given to us as a pledge or a way that we can know that we have an inheritance in heaven. How do we receive the Holy Spirit? By giving our life over to God or by accepting Jesus as our savior and lord. Ephesians 2:8 says, we are saved by grace through faith. Romans 10:17 says “faith comes from hearing and hearing comes from the word of God. Romans 10:13 says, “everyone who calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved.”
Have you given your life over to Jesus? If you haven’t, don’t delay – do so today. If you have, do unto others as you would have them do unto you. If you know someone who doesn’t know Jesus, tell them about Jesus. It is the right thing to do. It is the Golden rule. Amen.
Sermon Outline based on Adam Hamilton's 2008 Sermon Series "The Game of Life"
...